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How valuable are trolls and haters? More than you know!

troll

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I mentioned it at the beginning of yesterday’s article: A troll invited himself to my interview on Twitter.

Answering questions from a host and an audience can be stressful. But add a disgruntled individual to the mix, and you have the perfect recipe for failure.

Depending on your reaction, and even if you are completely in the right, you could put your reputation in jeopardy within minutes.

I am not going to share the details of what happened because it was a very long conversation — and I do not want to give this individual any publicity.

However, here are the two arguments that he used to try to destabilize me:

  • I do not know anything about content curation – Apparently, doing it on your own blog is akin to content scraping and aggregation. “Content curation is abused by plagiarisers,” he said.
  • I faked my credentials – The fact that you cannot find anything on my blog before 2011 does not mean that I lied about my 7-year experience as a blogger. I opened and closed several blogs in my career, until I finally discovered what my audience needed from me. Plus, I deleted and re-purposed a lot of the content I wrote before 2011.

How did I deal with his comments?

I used humor and the conversation with other participants to keep myself grounded. I also made sure that I remained polite and professional at all time.

When the guy realized that I would not lose my cool, he let me be.

After the interview, I received several DMs from people who mentioned that they were very impressed with the way I had handled him. They also said that it was not his first attempt at destabilizing women. He seems to enjoy making false accusations.

So, what is the lesson?

You cannot please the entire world. No matter what you do or say, there will always be someone, somewhere, who will take a malicious pleasure in questioning your motives and credentials, or even dragging your name through mud.

My best bet is that they are just calling for attention. It has nothing to do with you or what you do. They want some of the spotlight. So, they attack anything they see.

The way you handle trolls and haters will say a lot about you as a person.

Take a deep breath. Be nice and polite, and use a little humor to alleviate the negativity.

Should they continue pestering you, end on a respectful note. Wish them a great day and stop responding.

Trolls and haters can teach you a lot about customer service and business. If you can handle them without losing your cool and mind, you will be able to emerge unscathed from pretty much any difficult situation you encounter in social media.

And you will gain the respect of your audience in the process.

Have you ever had to deal with trolls? If so, how did you respond?


Creative Commons License
This article by Cendrine Marrouat is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

About The Author

Cendrine Marrouat is a journalist, blogger, content curator, author, and workshop facilitator located in Canada. She is the founder of two social media blogs: Social Media Slant and Creative Ramblings. On March 6, 2012, she released The Little Big eBook on Blogging: 40 Traffic Generation Tips, a comprehensive resource that provides bloggers of all levels with essential information and precise guidance to attract quality traffic to their blogs. She is currently working on an eBook on social media strategies that should be released before the end of 2013.
  • http://paper.li Kelly Hungerford

    Cendrine,

    Hat off to you for handling the negativity and attack so well. Professionalism along with polite answers go far in thwarting a trolls efforts to bring down a conversation to his or her level.

    Not responding after you have given polite answers is a great strategy that I use often to diffuse these types of attacks and situations. And you are right. The way you handle yourself publicly does say a lot about you as a person. You are an outstanding role model, Cendrine. Keep up the great work!

    • http://www.cendrinemarrouat.com Cendrine Marrouat

      Thank you very much for your comment and kind words, Kelly! In all honesty, I learnt a lot from you and a few others. You have a great ability to deal with challenging situations online. I can’t believe how much you and Liz helped me last year when I had to deal with the other bully!

      With that said, I am not perfect. I do not always manage to handle trolls so patiently. lol I guess having to answer questions from people truly helped!

      A fellow Tweep hit me up offline today. Apparently, people have been talking about my interview and what happened with that guy. It’s become a kind of viral (but secret) thing. ;-)

      • http://paper.li Kelly Hungerford

        Thanks Cendrine. Indeed. That reader gave us a workout!

        Working for a brand brought me directly in line with people that either love us, or didn’t right off the bat. So I really got a crash course in online PR and policy from day one. I am always happy to share what is working, or not, in helps of helping others.

        I recently had a user of our service stalk me across 7 networks, posting pictures of me with devil horns and eyes, while adding vulgar comments. Had I been a teen-ager, I would have been a bit frightened.

        They would latch on to any twitter user I was conversing with and slam my avatar up there. It was really frustrating. I’m sure everyone blocked the user and finally after escalating to management of the platforms, the user was finally banned from a few. It was great to see the platform step-up and take a stand. it was pure cyber bullying!

        You’re doing a great job – keep it up and continue sharing your experiences. It helps everyone.

        • http://www.cendrinemarrouat.com Cendrine Marrouat

          Wow, that must have been a stressful experience! Glad some of the platforms stepped up to the plate to help you.

          Let’s continue the conversation, it’s very important that bullies know that we are united and support one another. When more people take a stand against such practices, they will eventually decrease to the point where kids do not have to commit suicide to be heard.

  • http://blog.paulnshapiro.com Paul Shapiro

    Definitely a great lesson learned. I’m sorry you had to deal with the trolls. I’m not sure what motivates people to behave this way. It’s very unfortunate.

    • http://www.cendrinemarrouat.com Cendrine Marrouat

      Thank you Paul! Trolls just want to elicit negative reactions from us. Do you remember that woman who uploaded this video on YouTube, in which she said that the Haiti or Japan earthquake (I can’t remember which event) was a punishment for accepting gays? That’s exactly the same thing.

      Thank you for your comment!

  • http://www.sandyappleyard.com Sandy Appleyard

    Oh Cendrine! I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. It sounds like you did a great job dealing with it. The way I deal with haters and trolls is to cry….no really….I die a little inside every time someone tries to attack me. I’ve never been good at confrontation. Thankfully, dealing with cyber trolls and the like is different, and we can hide behind our computers. phones and gadgets. I have had some negative feedback on a recent post or two, and I just thank them for expressing their opinion and for taking the time to read and to comment. That’s all I can do. As you said, entertaining their negativity just sensationalizes them and gives them the attention they want and it can possibly feed them and encourage more response..not what you want. Thanks for telling us this story, I’m very glad you made it through a shining star!

    • http://www.cendrinemarrouat.com Cendrine Marrouat

      Thank you for your comment, Sandy!

      You are absolutely right. All you can do is thank them for expressing their views and move on. But, it is also important to talk about it.

      I remember, when I lost my 9-5 job because I refused to let my bossy bully me (it had been a six-month fight with constant threats, snarky and derogatory comments, and public humiliation), I felt so helpless. It was 2008 and we barely talked about bullying in the workplace at the time. Only a few people truly believed what I had had to experience.

      Let’s continue the dialogue. I think it’s important to support one another when things like that happen.

  • http://tiroberts.com Ti Roberts

    OMG, Cendrine!

    Thanks SO much for writing this post. I loved it!

    I’ve dealt with one troll in particular since I’ve relaunched my blog and I’m willing to bet he’s the same one that crashed your Twitter chat.

    I too have noticed that he seems to have an issue with women bloggers. When I first connected with him through Facebook, he seemed nice, but as time went on and I started to get a lot of recognition and mentions from top bloggers, he quickly turned sour and left snide comments on my blog.

    I didn’t necessarily see it coming, but looking back, I can see where this type of behavior falls right in line for him – seeing as when we first met he vented to me about another woman blogger that supposedly ripped off his content.

    I think that the way you handled his negativity was very wise and is the exact way that I handled it as well.

    I think fighting off negativity with humor is the best policy. Never let them see you sweat and stand behind what you know.

    Thanks again for sharing your experience with this and congrats on everything you’re doing!

    Ti

    • http://www.cendrinemarrouat.com Cendrine Marrouat

      Hello Ti,

      Thank you for stopping by and leaving your comment. I’m glad you shared your story!

      I’m pretty sure we are talking about the same guy, as well. Strong-willed women scare him. All the ones I talked to who have had to deal with him are outspoken like you and me. We are tough nuts to crack.

      I’m very happy to see that the incident is sparking some conversations. Coming together to fight bullies online (and offline) is the only way we can stop them.

  • http://incometherapy.com Sarah Park

    As you say, we cannot please everyone. It is not healthy also to live on the ways other people expect us to be. As long as we are happy of what we are doing and we see good effects of what we do to other people, then I guess minding these trolls and haters are just a waste of time.

  • http://www.dialme.com/blog/ Ray

    I used to spend a lot of time on Forum sites and there was an abundance of trolls that lurked on them. Even more so on the more popular sites. I guess they don’t have anything better to do, or it makes them feel smart, important, or something. I don’t know. I haven’t had to deal with it with any of my own sites or accounts, but on a forum site if it’s not a conversation I started I usually just stay out of it. I honestly don’t know how I would handle it on my own sites. I guess just as cool and reasonable as possible.

  • http://www.authorland.net/biggest-list-of-5000-commentluv-enabled-do-follow-high-pr-blog-list/ Neha

    Feel like addressing the concerns raised in the original comment after own trolling attempt.